The Spa

Therapy is like going to the spa. Imagine a beautiful spa, you enter and you automatically feel time slow down. The colors on the wall are beautifully muted, the sound being released through the speakers is serene and your nose even picks up a lovely scent. This automatically causes you to be aware that you are in a space that is safe and the people here will attend to meeting your needs to destress. This space loudly whispers safety and professionalism so much that you have enough trust to put yourself in a physically vulnerable position. It feels so safe and professional that you even choose on your own will to remove needed protective barriers like your clothing in order to participate in this spa like treatment.

In therapy instead of your physical body, the focus is on caring for your mind. While your body stores external impacts such as pains, aches, muscle soreness, etc. your mind stores the impact of your story, your experiences and the use of your voice. Instead of clothing barriers, in essence you are removing the protective barriers of your defense mechanism, of your coping skills, of the default way you do things.

Lastly, imagine flipping through the treatment service book and choosing the spa service you would like. Is it a facial? A full body massage, a deep tissue massage? Or is it just a pedicure today? In therapy, you choose alongside your therapist what you want to work on today. We laser target that area. So is it stress in your relationship with family, with yourself, in your workplace? Do you want to get deep or kind of stay on the surface? This is a picture of what therapy is like. A safe space fit for you to meet your need to de-stress.

The Gym

Therapy is like going to the gym. Imagine with me, walking into a gym, scanning the room and seeing the variety of equipment. In one corner, you have the cardio machines, in the other you see all the weight machines and free weights. You walk a little further in and you see the yoga room, pool, hot tub, sauna and massage tables. But you have a goal. Your goal is to shed 10 pounds. You goal is to build muscles. You goal is work upper body. Whatever you goal is, it guides you into which equipment to use. And sometimes it’s the more intense tools and sometimes its the more soothing tools. Whatever your choice is, it is working the body and getting you closer to reaching your goals. I like to think of therapy similarly. When you make that first call to find a therapist, there is usually a problem area you want to see a change in. And depending on which therapist and therapeutic perspective you choose, it may be an intense intervention or a soothing one, but whatever your choice, it is working that problem area and it is getting you closer to reaching your goal. By putting in the work, you will see the results.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines drama as “a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces.”

Experiencing trauma is one of the most dramatic events our bodies go through. It leaves memories on our brains, our muscles, our nervous systems and of course our thoughts/memories.

When we do not recognize the dramatic impact of our traumas, it can have longer-lasting effects on how we relate to ourselves and to other people. It can even impact our physical health (e.g. strokes, gastrointestinal disease, dependence on drug/alcohol, etc.) I told you it was dramatic. The good news is there are many ways to ameliorate post-traumatic symptoms. One of the most effective ways is through skilled psychotherapy treatments.

Talk therapy is not only talking to a stranger who “just listens”. The truth is many times, the therapeutic conversations becomes a safe space for your drama trauma to finally play out. Just like a dramatic movie that moves your heart, you will find yourself crying, laughing, angered, quiet and the rest of the human emotions. The goal with your therapist is to get you to your second act or the final curtain of the dramatic effects of trauma. The goal is to walk out the theater having been inspired by the resilience of your own story. When mental health therapy is provided by a skilled clinician, the following occurs:

• You discuss your story. What lasting impact good/bad (there is no indifferent here) that your experiences had on you?
• You (alongside your therapist) decide what goals you would like to work on. One could say I want a better relationship with my parents/spouse/children. I want to be less anxious, less depressed, have less family arguments, have more confidence. I want more connection my spouse, etc. Now do you need goals in therapy in order to start or continue therapy? Simple answer is no. Sometimes we just need to know our emotions first have a safe space to be contained before working on any goals. And that is absolutely normal and welcomed in therapy.
• You practice. I use to think of therapy as a spa for the soul, but as I continue my practice, I now like to see it as more of a health club or gym for the soul. At the gym there are a variety of machines and activities to get you to your health goals. Sometimes, we go to the gym just to sit in the sauna for an hour or for a fun group class and other times we may be pushing ourselves past our comfort zone with weight training for the benefit of intense muscle growth. Similarly, a competent therapist will access a variety of tools specific to you and your trauma to get you to your goals. The interventions are many, but here’s a few: EMDR, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, In Vivo Desensitization, Bibliotherapy, Biofeedback, Art or Music Therapy, Narrative Therapy, NLPT, Mindfulness, Family Systems Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Adlerian Therapy, Trauma-Focused Therapy. And really the list goes on. You want to make sure you are compatible with your therapist by expressing your needs and providing them with feedback with the style of therapy being used at any time.
• You check-in. Consider every session with your therapist as a much needed resting stop. Your therapist will check in with you on the focus problem and it’s proximity to your agreed upon goals.

It is pivotal for us to ascribe the drama in our trauma, because only then can we fiercely and unapologetically pursue healing, recovery and wholeness.

1) Neutrality

Your therapist is assessing, diagnosing and creating a treatment plan solely with the information you bring to session. They are not partial to anyone in your story, like a good friend would be. The therapist has the ability to view your life ailments/contentions through the gift of neutrality. 

2) Confidentiality 

By law, your therapist cannot breached your confidentiality agreement. Your information is considered privilege and you as the client always hold that privilege. A friend on the other hand is not held by any legal standards to keep your information safe and confidential. The nature of confidentiality supports the therapeutic process, as we tend to feel safer to be more truthful when we know the information is protected. (Note: The only times where confidentiality can be breached without permission is whenever there is an intent to self-harm or intent to harm.)

3) Professionality 

Therapists, psychologists, mental health counselors are individuals who dedicated years of higher education and continued commitment to the study of human behavior, the psyche and the use of effective treatment models. A good conversation with a friend may leave us feeling encouraged, heard and loved. But therapy work, goes deeper, digs out the root and builds a longer-lasting change.

Fresh Living Counseling is currently open to new clients. We offer individual, couple or family therapy via telehealth. 

To schedule a consult, please click here or call 561-819-2562. 

Life is hard, your journey to healing doesn’t have to be.