What is Toxic Positivity?

Have you ever shared some bad news with a friend or a family member and they immediately responded by offering a positive perspective?

Can you remember how that made you feel? Were you grateful for their positive advice or did you feel a twinge of guilt for sharing your problem?

If you chose the latter, you sir or madam, have just experienced what we call toxic positivity. The characteristic of toxic positivity is simple. Toxic positivity dismisses the negative emotions by providing a subpar “quick-fix” positive solution as an attempt to deflect the negative emotions.

Toxic positivity can be so subtle that sometimes we are left deciphering the reason we are confused, “Like, wait a minute, he/she offered positive advice so why am I feeling this negative feeling?” Well it’s because toxic positivity leaves little to no room for you to actually say or process your actual problem authentically, which is most likely the reason you reached out to your friend/family.

When you find yourself in a conversation where positivity is used to deflect your feelings. I want you to remember that this method is not productive and it is toxic (harmful). Gently remind the person or maybe even yourself (if we’re the culprit) that you appreciate their advice, but you would like to know that your negative feelings towards a horrible situation are valued, appreciated and most of all validated.